Earth Angels

Do you have earth angels?   I sure do.  

I never can thank or repay them enough for the drops of love they continue to drip on me as life happens.  They are just there standing quietly in the gap sending love.   I don’t see them  or even talk to them often enough.  Even still, just when I least expect it and usually when I need it most a card comes in the mail, a Facebook post, an email or blog comment of sweet assurance in our Heavenly Father‘s Love through vessels of bone & skin.   This is my latest “overflowing with love attack”!     My angel says to me that I remind HER of JOY!   Little does she know her spirit and care for people is the fountain we all need to be a light in the darkness of life happening the way it does.

A message from my earth angel to all who are blessed to read this blog post today.  “Happiness is a feeling that comes and goes based on what’s going on in our lives; but joy is a gift from God that will never change, lessen or be taken away. God, through His Spirit, grants us love, joy, and peace no matter what is happening in our lives! As Christians, we shouldn’t expect our joy to always feel like happiness, but instead recognize joy as inner security — a safeness in our life with Christ.”

A Compliment, a smile, being generous with your time, we never know how much people need our love and encouragement JUST BECAUSE.  Pass on the love…I forget all to often and get caught up in my little bubble of myself.  I read too much into things, over analyze, protect my heart and keep safe distances.  Thank you for your love the way I can receive it during this season of my life sweet earth angels!

As I am in a super stretching and growing phase in my life personally and professionally it’s easy to forget the easy rules I try to live by and get off track.   Even worse cause myself a tail spin back to the old ways of being in the world that old lie that life “owes” me something along the lines of “happiness”.  It doesn’t.  AT ALL.  We owe it to life to be the happy!   We owe it to life to be free of anger, worry, clutter to create the space for happiness to be alive in.   It’s created within any situation, any hardship, all situations can be happy, they already are happy by choice when we allow it to be present.

WHY are the most simple things the hardest to master?    I fight with my expectations on a minute to minute basis.  I expect to have all the answers. I expect to have a happy life that I make a difference but I still seem to get stuck in my turn style of frustrations and get off course.  My earth angels seem to know exactly when I need them to say something that stops me dead in my tracks and bonks me on the head.   

God knows our prayers even if we don’t have the words to say them out loud.   As I continue to walk the path of “what the hell am I doing” and being surprised by the glorious outcomes God has in store, it’s clear.  Happiness just IS, even when its hard being in constant learning and making mistakes mode.   Everyday is a new day of possibility of perfect imperfections!   Hakuna Matata my dearest Marcy!  Thank you for reminding me what my priorities of JOY are in Jesus.  🙂 It means no worries for the rest of your days.  It’s our problem-free philosophy!  Thank you for being a bright light sent from above!

March Forth – I Got This Gramma!!

March 4th is my very favorite day of the year.  I think it should be a  dedicated national holiday to celebrate your own personal strength and fortitude through life’s failures and victories.

Fortitude represents mental and emotional strength in facing difficulty, adversity, danger, or temptation courageously. It’s a day to celebrate the challenges you have overcome.

I’ve made this day much happier in my life than it probably should be, but its my favorite day for many reasons. Who celebrates failures in hindsight to see what positive came from them? I do!

I never paid much attention to March 4th, until it burned into my heart the day my grandmother passed away in 2000. She was the most gentle woman and had a parade of friends lining up for her hugs. She was timid and soft spoken and full of so much love to give.

As I get older and consider her life riddled with horrible and very painful experiences I cannot even imagine in reality as an adult. She had night terrors until the day she died but always woke up with a smile and a hug.

As gentle as she was, she was a tower of strength and faith. She had every reason to be angry, bitter, break down and quit living but she just didn’t. She marched forth with the kind of fortitude of war soldiers protecting the front battle line.

She wasn’t “religious” throwing scripture and condemnation for sins like a sharp weapon. But she certainly lived her life as the bible teaches, in unconditional love, giving in any way she could, always quietly praying and living by example with an undercurrent of sharing her faith through every day life lessons as they came.

That’s the love of God I choose to believe in. A loving God conspiring all around us for our greater good, all the time. Don’t get me started on religious retards who screw it up and twist God into a deadly weapon.

When times get tough and I fall into depression and want to quit, when life hurts or isn’t fair, I always find myself thinking of her having a gentle smile and the guts of a Gladiator to March Forth. And so I will too.

Marching forth knowing when I am weak God is strong and is working very hard to get it all back to my life’s purpose as fast as I will allow it. I get in God’s way a LOT!

Everyday can be March 4th if you need it to be a DO OVER, clean slate. It’s her princess warrior spirit inside my soul that I nurture and cherish thanks to my Gramma passing over on that particular day.  I think she planned just for me knowing I would need a date to remind me of what I am.

Still here I am, marching forth. Sometimes I kick ass, and sometomes I find myself slouching, getting weak, being lazy, questioning myself and direction in life that I am creating.

All I can do is shake it off, have faith, take a deep breath, stand tall, shoulders back, chin up, take long confident strides and smile knowing I have the courage of a princess warrior who will win the challenges of life no matter what in faith.

I will go on my own journey’s way through whatever comes with fortitude. As another years comes and goes by , Here I AM. Marching Forth wrapped in Gramma’s Love!

X FILES

Those who know me well, know I can be meaner than a junk yard dog or desert rattle snake if I am bullied or betrayed on any level. They also know I am as sweeter than honeysuckle syrup on a pop tart too and would do anything in the world for anyone. Heartaches happen, live and learn from them. Do you keep your X files or burn them? My heart has been broken many times since I was 18 …..still waiting on true love, those were all some twisted version of it. Some hurt my heart way worse than others but still the size and depth of the cracks left doesn’t matter, all together finally it just shattered. God is restoring it into a new whole piece that I never would have been without those shards. Fierce Loyalty and Passionate Indulgence is in my royal Chinese Pig Horoscope signs description and most likely my biggest weakness holding on way longer than I should, until it hurts with someone and also will be my best quality when I finally find the right one who is good for me.

Now, here is the problem with writing a blog like mine, without anger, drama or resentment now what do I have to write about? Writers block? Death and Dying Well from a Hospice sales persons perspective? NO. I am waiting on the end of March to mark one year being “free” and single again just like a kid waiting for Santa. Waiting with bated breath for 2010 to END! I can say I hated 2010 but am the most grateful for its lessons. Moving on the the next decade with a bullet proof vest on. Why is the that ending date so important to me? I have no idea but it feels like a release from prison. Nothing will change on that day on the outside but on the inside I will feel different. I can not wait for January 1st and my Mom’s Yankee sour kraut, mashed potatoes and pork for GOOD LUCK in the new year. Its tradition I look to for comfort as much as prayer. 2011 Heaven.

Somehow the 1yr and 2 yr mark post divorce is what most say will make it better, some have said even up to 4 yrs to make me healed or ready to do whatever makes the world feel more comfortable in what they think I should be doing with certain amounts of time gone by. Some can’t wait to date immediately, some do not ever date again. I am listening to my intuition on when its time to open my new heart up, and so far it says “HAIL NAH, ARE YOUZ KA-RAZY GURL? SAH-CUUURITY!!!” So I listen that loud and clear. I have friends, hobbies, church, Netflix, workouts, dog walks, over-posting on Facebook and love to read a lot to pass time and always napping in cases of emergency. I will air on the conservative side on this debate and take this time to get to know who I am again without feeling rushed to “get back out there because my clock is ticking and my uterus is shriveling up as we speak!” kind of self-induced pressure.

My sister doesn’t say much about men I am dating (until it’s over) unless its positive, she or her husband are never negative which I appreciate in the big picture of things. The one thing that I will never forget when we separated was her honest and deepest sorrow for me. But also for my entire family, nephews because they loved him so much, our entire extended family who embraced him entirely where divorce just isn’t part of the things we ever expected. This is what she said to me the way I heard it anyway “None of us will never be the same now. YOU will never be the same and that makes me sad. You will never be the same. Nothing you can do now but move on. NEXT!” or something like that.

She moved me inside my broken soul, I know where she was standing, the look on her face, can still hear her voice in my ears even though it was only a few seconds in time, it marked THE END of something inside me that was still pure, like on 9-11 but no one actually died in my event thank goodness. I credit Facebook for keeping me out of prison. In that reality check she gave me permission to grieve, freedom to stop the madness, reclaim my self to move on without guilt or shame. I did all I could and have no regrets. She allowed me to be sad, to just BE ME whatever that ended up to be after the, aftermath. And there is aftermath internally and externally that no one can explain in words, like 9-11 that needs cleaned up and restored, but it will never be the same ever again. Even if you know it’s the best thing for both of you.

I know WHY God hates Divorce now, it’s painful and fathers love never wants to see their children in pain. My hand full of longest time friends did the same for me (when most disappeared not sure what to say or do, or just busy with life) …Pure Earth Angels rallied when I couldn’t…among many silent ones who sent prayers, cards, emails and sweet notes. Did I mention I can be meaner than a snake, coil up and hiss venom, push people away and go mute for months on end, which makes them even more saintly to stick with me through the low times! They know when to back away, poke me to see if I’ll bite or just help me throw my snake-skin sassy boots and go dancing with me! They just know? Friends don’t need vows or ceremonies that cost 20K and months of planning. They just will always be there, they do what needs to be done when its time and no matter what its always going to be okay even when it gets ugly. That’s a pure hearted covenant commitment. Friendship doesn’t need vows. Why does marriage?

The “stages of grief” are complicated, explainable which makes you feel less crazy, but they do come in waves and don’t have a time limit, or send a memo – THEY JUST COME! The professionals warn against stuffing, ignoring, hiding it all will only postpone the elephant jumping up and down on your chest implosion until your ribs break. It won’t ever make it go away until you deal with it, out loud, in private, with people who make you do not make feel like an ALIEN for having a title status life change. Dealing with “your part in it” and understanding the roots of both people’s hurts, pains and baggage we bring into marriage sickness makes it go away. Forgiveness makes it ultimately go away but that takes time.

I know now, he did me a favor, he did the most loving thing he could in forcing me to leave the way he did. In his own way, his goal in making me safe and secure wasn’t what he could do IN our marriage but he made sure he did it for me apart from our marriage, and for that I appreciate him and in a sick way respect him, thank him for making me leave to allow the life God has for me to come. Not the path I wish for anyone, but is a path half of us choose to take. The vows still haunt me and always will to the core of me.

I didn’t really believed in “these two shall become ONE” LITERALLY (and I am emotional, girly dreamer type with serious expectations of prince charming romance etc..) other than it sounded romantic and nice. Even knowing the marriage was a complete mistake, train wreck I could not stop, parting from this man I made my pinky swear promise to with my vows to him, God, my friends and family seriously ripped me in half. It was the biggest thing I had ever done, and also ever failed at doing with all those people cheering us on. Still part of me feels numb and lost over where I belong, who I am, not living single, not married, no kids, older in age its weird. I am not sure I will ever feel whole again. The other 4 broken hearts were scars, this left a huge hole. It’s the weirdest feeling to try to understand or process because I don’t miss him at all?

I do miss my faith in people, my hopes, my dreams, my trust, my belief in true love never fails, the purity and promise taking vows of marriage are a total joke now. I miss who I was before this, who God made me, he stole that pure spirit from me but it’s slowly coming back one day at a time. I hurt him too, I was a co-theif in it all and take total responsibility for knowing not to marry and was too scared to back out, too scared to fail again too scared to let everyone down who have big hopes for my future too. I knew inside and silenced it, he did too. I will never ignore my intuition again. never. ever. EVER. AMEN. Will this be my last divorce posting? GOD, I hope so!

And oF course this is the verse I am dwelling on until it becomes true in my heart. Colossians 3:13
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Life After Divorce: “If They Give You Ruled Paper ~ Write The Other Way!”

Check out this brilliant quote by Juan Ramon Jimenez I found nestled in a Ray Bradbury book. You only live this life once, so why not live it exponentially?    I’ve always done things the hard way, upside down and backwards left feeling very frustrated by life.   A high school friend and pastor posted something on his Facebook page that moved my soul to the very depths and started me on a journey I can barely wait to begin!  He said, “Walk in the gifts and talents you have been blessed in. Take the limits off! There is greatness running through your veins that wants to showcase itself. Your dreams are still waiting on you!”

I didn’t realize how many limits I put myself within and just how much creativity was pumping through my veins.  Maybe that’s because I wasn’t being true to myself.  I am supposed to be living the typical charmed American life in Suburbia and I have always struggled just to swim upstream from point A to B and never understood why exactly.   The definition of insanity is?    Just maybe life wants me to go with the flow downstream instead of upstream?   For the first time in my life, the lights came on, I am going to stop swimming against the current and I actually want to go with the flow downstream!   I am thrilled that I am allowing myself the freedom to find my dreams that are waiting on me and finally find a medium to showcase them!!   Why were we taught that coloring outside the lines was bad or not as beautiful as inside the lines?

When I started paying my own bills and had my first apartment the urgency to make sure my bills were in the mail 10 days early to obey the rules.  The first time I missed a bill, on accident of course, I woke up and realized that the world didn’t end and life would go on normally if I call and make arrangements.   I literally expected alarms or bombs to go off if I was ever late.  I am not encouraging tardiness due to fee’s but the world will not end if you decide to call a DO OVER, change life directions and follow a path that’s like coloring outside the lines or being a little late.

It is happening now with my recent season in life after divorce.  I literally thought the world would end, my life would end if my vows broke…. divorce was never an option for me even if it was a horrible relationship with two good people both lying to themselves sort of situation.   “The Christian Rule” is very limiting and who wants to piss of God?   I always believed in marriage lasting forever like my parents and held my commitment the most valuable promise in my entire existence up until now.  I wanted to create a great marriage, be a great wife, be a great mother, but for me, great literally sucked because I sucked at that point in my life.  It was not so great in reality because I didn’t see the truth in front of me.  I woke up one day, after being betrayed by my own expectations, displaced, unemployed for a year because I moved for his career instead of mine, moved back into my house that we rented out, started a new job out of survival, going through legal hassle and emotions of the actual divorce while trying to hide it from my boss and co-workers which never works.  I have been through so many unbelievable blessings, struggles and changes over the past year and realized that I am done with what isn’t working for me!  No more.  This is not the life I want so why am I buying into this lie?  I am not a failure, I am smart, but I am still miserable and have to do something to change it – ASAP!   Getting married, having kids was always my goal.   We all have to work, so why am I living to work, not working to live again because I forgot?

My heart started beating so fast like my entire life flashed before me and I was an old lady living in a paid off suburbia house, married to another sell out corporate fake like myself, yet still emotionally in solitude, yet very comfortable in my stable and safe life with 5 dogs to keep me company.  Those who know me know that would be true because I love dogs (human dawgs as well as canine dogs unfortunately).  I would spend time making a nest, churchgoing, gardening, volunteering, reading, cooking, living vicariously through others families and tagging along in their annual celebrations instead of taking a risk and investing in myself.    I need a new chance at MY life, instead of living someone else’s life in place of my own and in the pit of despair you find the will to do it.   Knowing my choices might be disappointing others expectations of what my life should look and me like is/was the hurdle that at first seemed really high.   Now it’s like stepping over a curb, high kicking the target and then doing a happy dance and suddenly all the pieces of my real life that is supposed to be are falling into place.  Swimming downstream and going with the flow works that way.  Who knew?

The choice was made for me, without my vote, outside forces worked on my behalf, because I know that I would literally die if I am not true to myself this time around and stayed in a life of lies.   I am not a bible beater or religious freak but I do have a very strong faith outside the traditional lines.

Throughout my entire marriage the same bible verse hit from every angle and I never knew why, until now.  Jer 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Why in the world would I choose to live in suburbia, no kids, single, not near anything remotely fun other than the lake which I no longer like because it’s a death trap and an hour commute to work that is killing me in a job I did 10 years ago and swore I’d never go back into even though I am pretty good at it.  Talk about a break through!

Some see it as an emotional break down but I don’t.  I see it as a blessing and God’s whispery promise to me coming true.  Selling my house, everything in it, unloading the clutter, unlocking the shackles of my own prison of life’s expectations and suddenly standing in total freedom can still be quite paralyzing.  But all I had to do was take one step and now I’m running off to Italy in a few months, or Portland…. or not sure where but away from here!    Going solo to explore the world and just indulge in new experiences and cultures has made some accuse me of going through a mid-life crisis (epiphany); a few guys I’ve dated in my past feel obligated to express their undying love for me and want to “save me and treat me right” out of pity in my opinion, which quite frankly makes me nauseous but it is with good intention which I appreciate, but HAIL NAW!   Backwards is not forwards.

By following the forward pull to live in Portland or anywhere in the world besides DFW (side note: though I love Texas, escaping Texas borders is a crime if you are from here, no one leaves out of fear of border patrol, its, its own country y’all?) the mere mention of Portland or Italy has made some small-minded folks think I’ve gone gay which I think is hysterical!  I have always wanted to live near the ocean and mountains so close together what’s gay about that other than the happy kind of gay?   Having short hair doesn’t help me much in that debate which I don’t participate in, but if I grow a mullet well that’s another story.    I will be doing something loving and creative for a living.  I love listening to stories.  I always wanted to be a nurse, just never made time for school because I am horrible at math, and science for that matter, not good makings for a nurse.  I just need to be a hospice companion or something touchy feely like that.   I have a long list of I “wish I would haves”.   Writing about my experiences has made some think I’ve gone off the deep end of TMI or that I’ve become a useless day dreamy waste of time.   My truth is that I just need to write about the colorful people and their stories that I come across my path.   Like a nurse, that does help people as it’s helped me in what I read, so I know it will help others if I write about it too.

We are all walking around wounded in some way so pretending like life is perfect is just not helpful to anyone.  I know the story that will make me an official “writer” and medium will find me when the time is right, blogging is one step to running as a writer.   It’s a marathon, not a sprint.  Being vulnerable and transparent is one step closer to letting humility help others.  The book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert moved a nation of readers because she was really raw in her experiences and I loved every letter of that book.

Why is it so hard for others to let us change and evolve outside of the ruled lined paper of society?    I am common.  Life threw me a few curve balls so I am learning how to bat better.  I am not broken, I just need more practice but I am getting pretty good at seeing the curve balls now.  I am not desperate to find love or get married again; I love who I am and who I am evolving into and for once that is enough for me.  Me, Myself and I complete the Sum total of ME, Cathy V and I already told you I suck at math but in my case 3=1.  I am so excited when I think what my possibilities are and my future as a blank canvas ready to be painted.  What I know for sure is that it doesn’t come from desperation to have a perfect life on the outside including; perfect marriage, perfect job, perfect kids, and perfect white picket fence or perfect retirement fund.   What is attractive to me is jumping off the ledge in faith knowing God has a major plan for me in this life if I just get out of His way and stop planning on His behalf.   Being wise and methodical in changing your path is critical, but it doesn’t have to look a certain way on paper either.

My heart pumps about the what if’s, the positive possibilities thanks to Mindy Audlin and her invention of What If Up, experiencing life through being open to it, turning my pain into purpose, giving more than receiving, finding strength in the unknown, releasing personal inspiration without expectations of it returning, fearlessness to do something outside of the normal safe expectations society declares is just what had to be done in my life.  Making a new life for myself on my own terms without regrets is my goal.  Coloring outside of the lines instead of waiting for a typical life to find me hiding in suburbia wearing a scarlet D as if I am ruined for life living in regret, shame and depression isn’t good, or what God wants for anyone.   When people see me as rebellious, I wonder if they are standing face to face with the same sadness looking back at them in their mirror seeing pure denial which is just plain uncomfortable if you aren’t doing what you are supposed to be doing with their unique gifts and abilities.

My sister, best girl friends, confidants all keep telling me, just do it, stop talking about it and just go, don’t ask permission or talk to people who will bring you down.  A sales training I was recently in was transformational for me, and not a coincidence in timing by any stretch of the imagination.  I will springboard from the lessons I learned in those two days and the past 15 years of aha moments all coming together like a puzzle you’ve been working until your eyes cross.  I know finding a mentor is critical because none of us can go this road alone.  Three lessons to live by and sell by:  1.  No one can steal your sunshine unless you allow him or her to. Don’t share your goals/dreams with anyone who won’t help you achieve them or support you in your effort to.  3.  Your opinion of me isn’t any of my business so I don’t want unsolicited advice or opinions unless I directly ask you for it.   Brilliant!

I still fall into the trap of explaining myself and seeking approval but I am practicing, practicing and practicing healthy boundaries.  Being aware of my weakness is half the battle.   Some are strong enough to get this paradigm shift in thinking early in life; some sincerely love the American Dream and are born for corporate life and the whole kitten caboodle.  Our country would collapse without you, so thank you!  God has a spot for all of us to fill working together as one big machine of parts to make it all work together as a whole in the end.  But what do you do if that predetermined life isn’t working for you?   There is only one thing to do, change it. Make friends with your fear and overcome what is stopping you from breaking through to your vein of gold.

Why do we feel the need to ask permission and approval to be what God naturally gifted us towards without fear of rejection or unsolicited negative advice?   Neither of those has ever killed anyone?  I never asked permission as a child.  I also got into some binds more than a few times, asked for forgiveness, paid the consequences, cleaned up the mess and life was back on track again.   As an adult, the opposite happened, I turned into a child.  I am always asking permission, always at the mercy of approval seeking and always end up really angry about it inside.  Depression is anger turned inwards.  It’s literally killed my spirit with indecision, low self-esteem and anxiety/depression.    They hand out those happy pills like candy but all I need is my happy place, around happy people doing what we are all happy and meant to be doing!   My friend just face booked this quote by Dr. Seuss its perfect timing for this entry, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

I don’t know if its tragedy of loss or the a death of marriage that is so horrible because you don’t actually get to die but you still feel like your skin is being torn off very slowly without anesthesia while an elephant jumps up and down on your chest.  Your life becomes a lie.  I don’t know if it’s just a lost hopes and dreams of “what life was supposed to be” that brings a new perspective and shift in thinking, but everything changes, even if the change is for the better it’s still very difficult to reconcile.  It’s your choice in what your new life changes into though.  Maybe it’s too many foreign films and enlightenment books by Wayne Dyer and ego-less Eckhart Tolle?    Complimented by Oprah and Ellen’s contagious generosity effort to give in abundance according to the universal law of attraction mind-set, but what if its my most rawest form of faith in God/Jesus/Holy Spirit that is finally surfacing from out there somewhere to inside my heart that’s bursting out in love to the degree that I can’t compartmentalize it like our “religious” culture does.  Whatever it is, I totally dig it.

The truth is to find out what you love doing and just do it!   It doesn’t have to be monumental, but it does matter monumentally.  Your story matter especially if it’s a beautiful mess like mine is!   Live with passion because when you’re good at what you do your life will prosper in ways that aren’t measured by money.  Another awesome FB quote moved me saying “Because when you’re good at what you do and you truly love and care about other people, you don’t need to “settle” for the B.S.”.    Amen sister!!

I am tired of being a boring compliant robot shell of a person watching life on TV rather than exploring it myself.  I am colorful, I am different, I am opinionated, I am strong, I am creative, I am constructive, I am passionate, I am really a nobody who is somebody with something to say!  I am not sorry for finally taking the plunge to be true to myself and allowing God to light my way from the bridges burning all around me.   Living out loud will come with criticism…. but if I help one person “be moved” as others have helped me “move”, then it’s well worth it!

My ultimate goal in life is to leave this world better than I found it.  Leave it with a few more smiles in it because of me because I love to smile at people, with my eyes as well as my mouth, there IS a difference when you smile from a genuine place.

I aim to Be Kind; be generous; love to everyone and everything because in the end we are all connected in this journey.    I am lucky enough to see this mundane life in a very colorful way…. and I get to share that.  And so I will write about what’s pumping inside my veins of gold begging to pour out.    Now that nasty Saturn is out of the stars in astrology, it could be a happy and loving shift going on for all of us.  One of my favorite Christian bands, Mercy Me, has a new CD and movement called Mr. Love Well.   “Who is Mr. Lovewell?  He’s an idea.  He’s a movement.  He’s the hope that the little things can add up to a big change.  He’s what the Bible has already called us to do…love one another.  Look for the best in people. Give people a chance regardless of status, race or gender.”   Love Well!!   It’s that simple.

I am letting go of the life everyone else planned for me.   “I’m picking up my pen” as my favorite singer song writer Beth Wood reminds me as I jam along to her fearless journey of living true to her gift of music and never selling out to the record label man.  Plan F is my new Plan A.   Just like 40 is the new 20, or 60 is the new 40?  A New Day is the chance at a New Dream!  Letting go of societies rules, judgments, religious hypocrisy, family expectations, career status defining me by a W2, corporate titles or whatever expectations we have subjected ourselves to that limits our potential is HARD WORK, VERY HARD WORK to break down in order to break through.

Coloring inside or outside of the lines ~ it’s all beautiful!  Try it!   Plan F is to F***’ the plans and prepare to be spontaneously moved to a new level of wealth in your soul.   Now if you’ll excuse me I have a house to sell, boxes to pack, charity to give things to and a million reasons to love well.    Thank you to all of my friends/family for inspiring me and always supporting me when you didn’t have to.   My earth angels are a vessel for God to move and use me where I am supposed to be moved and used.   I’ll be traveling light as I ride off into the sunset!